by Jim Low
Children's Theorem? Of course. Doesn't
everyone understand that fundamental law of nature with children?
"The shortest distance between two points is a puddle." I learned
that many years ago when my children were young. No matter where
you go, children will find a puddle. A puddle is
irresistible. Children must go directly to a puddle.
It's a natural law of attraction, the same as positive and negative.
It wasn't until I had grandchildren, though, when I learned the
Corollary to the Children's Theorem. One day, my daughter,
grandson, and I went to a shoe store. After my daughter picked
out two pairs of suitable shoes, she asked her son to pick one pair
(she already knew Toddler's Law, which is "always give Toddler's a
choice"). He happily picked his new shoes, then insisted on
wearing them home. The clerk asked my daughter if she's like to
buy the protective spray. She declined, as she knew she had some
at home and could do the spraying then. We leave the store.
My grandson suddenly makes a 90 degree turn to... you guessed it... a
puddle. It was then I understood the Corollary to the Children's
Theorem: "The newer the shoes, the muddier the puddle."